Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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