What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
