what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
