I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
