i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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