I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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