no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
