her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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