but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
