He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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