is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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