If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
