Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize