3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
