The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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