well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize