I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
