I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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