i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
