I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if only i could text you this smell
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
