Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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