508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize