your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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