Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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