Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
