another moral hangover. fuck.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
