The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I will be naked everywhere
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize