no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize