: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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