Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
its not stalking. its research.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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