totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
