I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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