Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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