i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize