How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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