What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
