What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
