i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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