Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
