hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
