Is it penis luge time yet?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
