Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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