Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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