your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
