Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
