my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
