K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there's paper in my vomit.
I could make wine with my vomit
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
