You're my little dorito
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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