Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
