The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
