I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think your dad took our porno
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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