i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
