I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
