that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
