He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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