If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
