Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm at about main and main street
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
