its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
