Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
