That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
