this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just google imaged poop.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
