How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize