She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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