Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
