you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
