Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
