Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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