just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
