lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
BRING THE BAGELS
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
