i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
