Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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