As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
